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Kenneka Jenkins

Stop excusesSo this post is a hard one to write. Let me start off by saying I refuse to hashtag another name. It’s beginning to be too much to bear. Scrolling through my timeline I see countless hashtags of the names of people we as a community have lost and I just can’t find the emotions to contribute. But this post isn’t about that. This post is about a young lady in our community as a world who lost her life senselessly and about how her “friends” are not coming forward with the truth. I can’t imagine what this mother is going through knowing that there is someone out there who knows the truth about her daughter’s death yet won’t “snitch.”

Parents, Village, Community, we have got to do better. In a society where “snitches get stitches” what do the families of these victims get…another hashtag?! We have to start standing up and demanding that our children and those around us do what is right, even if that means their life may be altered as well.  I know some will say, Nik would you tell your kid to do something that would possibly put them in jail. My answer…YES! It’s easier said than done, but at the end of the day, I’m not raising any cowards.  That’s what these so-called friends are cowards! And if you are the parent/family member of one of these individuals and you turn a blind eye to the that fact that they may have information to give that can help give this family peace, then you are an even bigger coward than they are.

My heart aches for this family! I can’t express it any clearer than I’ve said in previous post. It is our responsibility to instill in the next generation values that help them live to their full potential. If all we are leaving them is hashtags then we are failing miserably and really need to re-evaluate our own values. I challenge you all to talk to your children and other young people around you to see how they are dealing with the death of this beautiful spirit. Ask them what they would do in this case and open up the conversation to provide a lesson to guide them to be a better person.

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parenting

YOU ARE THE HOTTEST MOM!

Forgive me Hot Peeps!  Life has been happening and I am grateful for EVERYTHING! I’ve missed a few Hot Mama post.  This month I want to celebrate a young lady I have seen come full circle in her journey.  I’ve seen this lady experience the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. At a time in her life where she was Daddy’s little girl she lost her Father and in a moments eye as we all stood in awe of how wonderful and generous her mom was, she lost her mom. Through all of this she has maintained her faith, despite whatever struggles have appeared.  She is one of the dopest single moms I know and she is this month’s HOTTEST MAMA!  Ms. Shanika Rose we honor you!
Shanika Rose

“Today marks the end of a journey that started way back in 1997. 🙇🏽‍♀️I was a youngster with big dreams, ready to take over the 🌏. After a baby, 👼🏾SEVERAL deaths of my closest family members 🥀lost loves & friends, 💔domestic violence, depression and well just life! 💆🏽My dreams were diminished and extremely so slow to fruition; if existent at all! 😔There were points where I lost all hope, self esteem, and will to keep going. I wanted to give up. 😩Hell I did give up for a while, but something inside me wouldn’t let me stop ….(#badgirl #cantstopwontstop!) so I continued. I pressed on & I never gave up. So imagine my face today when my professor told me I got a 💯 % on my final exam. 😳 Y’all tears just filled my eyes, & joy filled my soul hunti!! 😭🤗Despite everything that was against me I did it!! I will have my BS in Mental Health Social Work💁🏽 and I can’t be more proud of myself! Trust me, if I can do it, YOU CAN TOO‼️It doesn’t have to be a degree, but whatever your desires are, & no matter how the odds are stacked against you NEVER GIVE UP! 🙅🏽Do that shit and do it well baby! 👌🏽Thank you to my family and friends for all the support over the years. I definitely could not have done it without my #village! 💪🏾“~Shanika Rose

parenting

She’s Watching Me!

MM- Nik & Anissa 1I have a confession…since coming back from vacation I have not been on my gym game.  I’ve collected no gym money and I have not gone hard in the paint.  Let’s just say life has been happening and the gym has fallen to the bottom of the list.  Don’t worry I’m like you figuring this whole life and purpose thing out and I am sure the gym will make the top of the list again very soon.

The other day I was watching a repeat of Wild N Out with my son, Jamiel.  He loves improv and on the episode K. Michelle was the guest.  Whether she worked out or whatever her waist to hip ratio is what I’m trying to get.  So I say “I wish my hips looked like that.”  We continue watching the show as it goes to commercial break my little one Anissa hugs me and says your hips are beautiful just the way they are. Huh?! She said mommy her hips are beautiful but so are yours.  Well look at that.  In that short conversation my daughter let me know I should appreciate my own body, now I know I appreciate myself and all these curves, it was nice to know that she doesn’t compare herself negatively to others.  She can compliment another female, admire her beauty and be confident in who she is.  Now you may think Nik you are reading to far into this, but we too often don’t watch what we say or we don’t think our children are looking or listening to us.  In everything we do we have to consider that they maybe.

So what should we do? Plant the seed, speak life, our children are watching, they mimic our behavior.  We won’t always do the right thing or be perfect in front of them, trust me I am not, but let’s be mindful that it’s our job to be a living example of the people we want them to be.  I challenge you all this week to live life being the parent you want your child(ren) to be.  And watch them to see how often they are watching you?

parenting

It’s My BLOGIVESARY!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!  My baby turns 2 today and I am in shock.  Who would’ve thought 2 years ago when I sat down to write my first post, create a site, develop what Just One Hot Mom was going to be that, that seed would produce such AWESOME fruit.  She yeah, she, has produced a YouTube channel and podcast on http://www.elevationsradio.com.  She has allowed me to be transparent, to express my wins and losses.  I fell head over heels in love with writing all over again because of this blog.  I’m beyond blessed to be the person that gave birth to her.

I am thankful for each and every reader, for every listener, for every one that watches the videos.  I am thankful that you all take time out of your day to listen, view, comment or think about this HOT MAMA right here.  Thank you to my family, my village for all the love and support.  You all are one of the driving forces behind me, propelling me into excellence.  You help me exude confidence and I am thankful to you all.  To my children and my partner in crime, you all put up with the emotional imbalance that is Nanekia.  You see me at my best and often at my worst.  You love me out of my frustration.  I love and adore you all for that, this is for you, for our future. I am THANKFUL for you all.

I am blessed beyond measure and none of this would be possible had I not stepped out on faith, made the decision to be transparent and allow people to see the exposed me. For that FATHER GOD I thank you.  We talk on the regular, I am unconventional, unpredictable, imperfect, confusion, a bundle of sin, yet YOU said I’m going to use you Nik, I’m going to let people see ME in you.  I swear, I fail, I question, yet I am USABLE!  Do you know how hard that is to accept?! But I accept it!

So, I’ll close this with what I say every time I’m asked how I’m going to do this, how am I going to compete….Whatever God has in store for me is meant for me, whatever God has in store for you is meant for you, What is meant for me won’t feel or fit you right and vice versus.  Yours is out their waiting for you, I’m going for mine. GO GET YOURS!

parenting

I Quit!

How often do we tell our kids to never give up to not quit.  I thought long and hard before I decided to quit, I had to make sure I was quitting for all the right reasons.  See I’ve been needing to quit for the longest time.  But there’s always something there telling me not to give up.  Well today I quit and if you are smart you’ll quit right along with me.

See there does come a point in your life where you do need to quit.  Quit complaining, if you are not going to take the necessary action to change the complaint , just quit.  Quit saying you’re going to live your best life, yet you never do, what’s stopping you, YOU!!!  Quit making excuses for people who are not asking you to excuse them.  MASK OFF! Some people we want to change will never change they are happy and content, you are the one living in misery, just quit.  Quit procrastinating!  What the hell are you waiting for?! Write that book, go back to school, sell those cakes, travel.  Why are you waiting, what happens if you decide to go ahead and make that move? You’re time is now!  Quit waiting for people to accept you.  Let me tell you the moment you walk in your truth and truly be who you are destined to be, THE GAME WILL CHANGE FOR YOU!  You be the first person to accept you.  I’m quitting! Quitting is not always a bad thing, sometimes you have to quit that thing to get what is really meant for you.  But because we refuse to quit, we get stuck.  You know what I’m talking, stuck on stupid and paused on dumb.

So what do you do when you don’t know how to quit?! I have not a clue, but what I do know that since quitting a few things mentioned above and going cold turkey, I feel free.  I feel free to embrace what is really meant for me.  See each of us has a role to play, that role is only meant for us and no one else can play it.  We are also responsible for figuring that role out and making sure our character does that role justice.  The moment you choose you, secure you, then you can be free to help others.  It all starts with you

My challenge QUIT!  There is something greater in store for you once you quit negativity and decide to embrace the positive.  It won’t be easy, but we as a community are here to support.  Drop what you are quitting in the comments. Quit!

parenting

The Pink Partay!!!!

Like I’ve been telling you guys this is my year to be BEYOND uncomfortable.  That means that I have had to step outside my comfort zone and do somethings I normally wouldn’t do.  If you follow the blog then you know I am not shy, I do however hang with a group of people I am extremely comfortable with.  No more!! Wait I will hang with them they are my village, but I am opening up to the possibility of exploring friendships with others.  We as moms don’t do that often enough, maybe it’s a trust issue, maybe we don’t have time to get to know others, whatever it may be I am trying to do something different.

So what do you do when you want to make friends?! You find places to go where people you want to get to know will be.  This is how I ended up at the Pink Party!  The Pink Party Retreat is a women’s empowerment retreat that allows women to be transparent, to laugh, to cry, to be angry, to just be YOU! My kind of place.  But wait I don’t know these people, will they be accepting of a new comer, will they embrace me?! We as moms, as women still ask these questions even when we are grown, it’s in our nature. I for one am an outspoken, sarcastic, black girl magic loving so and so, it can be a lot for some people to handle. My first encounter, I met my soul friend Clo, she was just as HEY Girl as I am, one sentence into our conversation she changed my name, I like her. I walk through the doors of the Kalahari resort and there are women, girls, people all over. Someone in a pink shirt says we will register you momentarily. I take a seat on the couch with women I do not know. Two seconds go by and we all become good friends, sharing snacks, life stories waiting for the party to begin. The doors open…It’s time to join the party!

LET…ME…TELL…YOU..I have never felt so much love, so much strength, so much fire and passion in one place. It was like a bunch of magical souls that were meant to be had finally found a home. I have never before experienced that outside my family, my village, my crew. It was AMAZING!!  Below you will find words of wisdom I obtained from the speakers featured.  Take them let them burn like a consuming fire in your mind and then go have your party.  Encourage someone, pour into someone, be there for someone, forgive someone and while you’re doing all of that be your FANTASTIC, PASSION DRIVEN, BEAUTIFUL SELF.

Kitra Martin Davis

We have to be intentional about what we do and say without being mean girl.

My battle scars are my beauty marks.

Killing someone doesn’t always mean ending a life

Edith Wheeler

The constant battle between light-skinned and dark skin people of color is bullying that we don’t recognize.

Learning to love yourself can be revealed when it’s time for you to grow.

Growth will reveal who really has your back.

In your season of brokeness you can discover yourself and set guidelines and boundaries to show others how to love you.

You don’t have to switch up to be accepted let go of what can’t accept you

Donielle Dortch

In order to get to destiny everything was necessary.

When you don’t know your purpose you hunger and thirst for it.

The storm that was meant to take me out was the storm that was protecting me.

Love is what love does.

Natasha Watts

You are next in line. (Believe it!)

Be expecting of a miracle God would not take something without giving you greater.

When I met Jesus I met myself for the very first time, you don’t know who you are until you meet Jesus

We as sister don’t like to see each other walking, we get off on having each other beg.  If I have a need and you have it meet it.

Some of us don’t know how to help , we hurt when we speak so if you not coming to help don’t come.

Sometimes a blessing is not for you God entrusts us to give it away, to use it to nurture others.

Wanda Robinson (Think about it!)

What do you do when you’ve closed the doors locked the windows and you discover you’ve locked the intruder in the house with you, when the enemy has come into your home to destroy you?

Why are we silent about our childhood abuse what makes us not cry out literally?
Why do we allow shame to dictate how we ask for help?
How can we remain still in our singleness?

Clotea Mack– lifted in love

When you move god will show you what to do

No matter who caused the unforgiveness you have the power to forgive

Forgiveness does not excuse the behavior of the thing that cause you to have to forgive

Functioning in unforgiveness is not forgiveness and may not be a path to reconciliation

Forgiveness is the work of the heart

There’s a difference between a barrier and a boundary

Being the victim feels good, accept the part you play in situations and get to forgiveness (displace anger)

God want to heal what you reveal

People are tired of hearing your sad story they want to hear your success story

parenting

Being Nanekia…Girl Trippin!

So about a year ago my best friend text me a pic, little did I know that, that pic and the note to follow would change my life.  See, my village was moving fine in its singleness.  We are single moms, single ladies, dating women and in an instance it changed when one very smart man decided to pop the question and marry us all.  Yes, note, when you marry one in this village you marry us all.  Then she popped the question to the ladies, WOULD WE BE HER BRIDESMAIDS? Of course we said yes, the catch we would be bridemaiding it in Punta Cana! Excitement, fear, joy, worry, floods of emotions hit me at once.  I’m happy for my girl, of course I want to support, I’m broke, I’ve got kids, I hate flying, I need a vacation, I don’t have a passport…my head is starting to hurt just thinking about all the thoughts floating.

Bottom line I’d made myself a promise, a promise to be uncomfortably happy in this new year.  To elevate my life, to stop always thinking negative, to stop listing more cons then pros and to go with the flow often.  This has been a tough year of fearlessness! What is a girl to do when she stops being afraid and decides to live her life?!  Let me tell you what she does, SHE LIVES!  I got my passport, I got on that plane, and lived an amazing 5 days of being catered to.  Lesson learned:  when you take the limits off what could potentially happen, you can see the full potential picture and baby it’s one amazing view!

So ladies and gents get UNCOMFORTABLY happy, make the decision today to live your best life RIGHT NOW!  And while your doing so click the link (Girl Trippin) so you can see how removing yourself from comfort can be beneficial.  Your assignment my hot peeps, Live your life! Comment below and let me know how you’re decided to do so, I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!