Blog

parenting

What A Man?!

It’s been about 2 weeks since my son officially ended his junior high career and is now ready to embark on a new journey to high school. This was a tough time for me. He is my ONLY son and being the main parent in his life brings me joy and a bit of sadness.

jamiel post 1I love watching my kids grow up and advising them as needed. They are all strong-willed individuals (got it honestly) and I know it’s my job to help them grow into productive, creative members of society. All the girly conversations I have with my daughters my mom had with me, the territory that I am unfamiliar with, the one that causes me anxiety are the conversations I feel a dad is supposed to have with his son. Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of men in my son’s life who can have these talks with him, but I feel as though he is cheated because he can’t have these conversations with the one person who should be thrilled to do so, HIS dad. (Some background, my oldest two children have the same father, due to circumstances out of my control, he is unavailable to co-parent at this time, I’ll just leave it at that.) As I picked out his suit, helped him get dressed for the events that marked the end of this chapter of his life I often wondered how he felt about his dad not being present. Well why wonder when I could just ask, so I did! My son with his tall, lanky, poised face said, I’m good mom you’ve got this! He kissed my forehead (he now towers above me) and gave me the biggest hug.

jamiel post 2
jamiel postAs I watched him look at himself in the mirror I was beyond proud, WHAT A MAN! My son despite his situation is growing into the most amazing, compassionate, strong, bold man I know. I would take credit for all the great things about my son, but I know without the help of the men who constantly and consistently stand in the gap for him, he might have turned out differently. I am humbled by how without breaking a sweat they show up for him on a regular basis.

So single moms if you are doubting whether you can raise a man…let me leave you with this- You may not be equipped for every talk, or every walk, but you are equipped with the love you have in your heart to raise an individual who will go out into the world and be who God destined them to be. What more could you ask for?!
jamiel post 5

 

parenting

Back to School Blues!!

back to school 2018Summer is wrapping up and school is right around the corner (YAY!). Parents your grocery bill is about to go back to normal, just wait on it. I think that’s the thing that excites me the most my bills will normalize and well the fact that I will have a high schooler and a kindergartener. But let’s face it along with those joyous moments as we prepare to send our kids back out into the education jungle, there are some struggles to be had.

For our entire summer break, we’ve stayed up late, slept in, basically our schedule was a free for all, but with school just a few weeks away it’s time to make some adjustments. I once read somewhere (if I could recall I would give credit) that it takes 12 consecutive days for something to become a routine. So since school is just about that amount of time away we have started the following;

  1. Preparing our clothes/lunches for the next day the night before so we can do our morning routine and have our outfit/food for the day ready.
  2. Going to bed at a decent time. This is mainly for my 5-year-old, if she doesn’t get enough sleep we all pay the price in the morning. I don’t want her to start off on a bad note at a new school so 8pm bedtime it is. Now for some this is late, but for our family schedule this is perfect. Helping her develop her nightly routine distracts her from the fact her brother isn’t going to bed.
  3. Test runs to both schools and to work. We’ve gotten up and driven to both schools during rush hour to see how much time it takes. OUR FAMILY IS ALWAYS LATE! I want to start fresh with the new schools so being on time is a priority.
  4. Update your calendar! Hopefully your child’s school has sent out the yearly calendar, you should update your family calendar now. That way you are well aware of school events that will take place and ca prepare accordingly.
  5. FOr older children like my high schooler we have started the conversation about the appropriate amount of study time. With social media we need to be intentional about the time we give toward studying and sticking to it. If you start the conversation now then those “But Mom” moments will hopefully lessen because you;ve already discussed your expectation for studying.

You can still enjoy those last few weeks before school starts, but don’t get left behind and wondering why you are struggling, implement routines now to help alleviate this problem. What are some things you do to help your child(ren) prepare for the return to school? Comment below.

These may help you as well!
LuminoLite Rechargeable 3000K Warm 6 LED Book Light

For those late night’s when your high schooler needs to study late!

Alarm Clock & Night-Light

Rise & Shine little one with this nifty night light and clock!
Learning Responsibility Star Chart

Teaching responsibility doesn’t have to stress you out. Using a chore chart and holding your child accountable will help the future leaders of tomorrow!

The Night Before Kindergarten

The night before the first BIG day of school can be hard, help your child ease into the situation with this cute story about how children are preparing for school.

parenting

I Need A Date!

date night footageNow that I’ve got your attention…I have someone to date but I was in need of some date night ideas. I mean we do the norm, dinner, drinks, movies, bowling, ect. I was looking for something to do outside of these things that would say be a little more cost-effective, if you know what I mean. So here are my top 5 date night to do at a great cost to you and your love. Enjoy and let me know how they work out!

  1. One of my favorites is a nice long drive. Now you may be thinking gas cost (and it does) but this is where a little homework and research does you some good. We never go for a long drive without having a purpose (even on date night). Once the kiddies are in bed, baby sitter obtained (we have live in) we head out for our adventure. Where do we go. Well usually we go and look at houses that one day will be our dream home, this may seem boring to some, but why not dream with the one you love of what your brighter and better future could be. If we get bored with that then we take in the night-time scenery. Things look a lot different at night than during the day. Open up your mind and imagination and take in something you may have overlooked during your normal daily drive. There’s magic in the night-time air and you two can enjoy it!
  2. Let’s take a long walk…I love when Jill Scott sings that part and I love a long walk with my guy. We have gone for long walks through the downtown part of our city, around the pond (I think this may be our favorite spot) and at the park. It’s something about that night breeze just before the park closes and you get pulled in close to give you just enough warmth that is magical! And guess what? It’s free to walk! Again, there’s something different about the city lights at night that we can’t capture during the day. You never really realize how spectacular your city is until you’ve had the opportunity to pick a secluded spot and stare out into it at night!
  3. Lights, camera, action! Get your mind out of the gutter! There are a few areas in our city that have magic during the day as well. Whether it be your favorite statue, the park, or just a busy city street, there is nothing like having the person who you love and loves you back take your picture. Now we are not talking about the multitude of selfies you take before you pick the right one. But think about it they see you sometimes when you can’t even see yourself. I love our impromptu photo shoots. Even better looking at the pics after where I normally critique myself but then he reminds me of how beautiful I am. Ladies…who doesn’t want to hear that they are beautiful?!
  4. Late night jam sessions! This is one for the couple who has to stay in the house. We LOVE music in our home. But all too often we don’t get to enjoy it because we are busy or the children are controlling the airwaves. But then there are moments where it’s just he and I and we battle back and forth about who has the most music knowledge or we challenge each other to find our favorite song in a particular genre. Maybe this one is my fave. I love to dance and this type a night always leads to dancing. Thanks to my friend Sabrina Lewis, Music Aficionado for this ‘For Lovers Only” playlist: Juicyfruit (Mtume), Me & Mrs. Jones (Billy Paul), For the Lover In You (Shalamar), Angel (Angela Winbush), Adore (Prince), Make It Last Forever (Keith Sweat), Forever My Lady (Jodeci) and you know I can’t leave out Anthony Hamilton (ANYTHING by him is gold)
  5. Finally, another one for those that have to stay in and chill. Y’all already know Netflix & Chill. Now I don’t know about y’all Netflix and Chill game but mine is pretty strong. We put the kids to bed or send everyone to their rooms. We get all our favorite snack, you know the food we don’t sneak into the movies when we go (wink, wink). We set-up our space, rock/paper/scissors for who will control the movie picking first. And then…we enjoy a good laugh, or drama, or mystery. I have to say the Mister is the better movie picker.

All of these ideas are about enjoying time with the one you love, no matter the cost, but if we can be cost efficient then SCORE. Take time out to invest time into your relationship, I promise you won’t regret it. What are you guys doing on your date nights? Do you have date nights? Comment below.

Also below find a few things to help your date night adventure! Click the pic to learn more!
Folding Picnic Basket Large Insulated Bag
On a long care ride or just going to the park this little picnic basket is guaranteed to keep your food nice and fresh!

Pyle Surround Portable Boombox Best
You can take your Jam Session with you if you have this portable bluetooth speaker

Battery Operated LED Flameless Candle Lanterns
Set the mood and light up the night with these battery operated lanterns.

Food Storage Containers with Lids
You got the picnic baskets, grab these containers as well. Fresh, fun, food!

Repel Sportsmen Max Insect Pump Spray
you’re enjoying your romantic stroll and here comes Mr. Mosquito! Not if you invest in some repellent!

parenting

What the Workout?! What Am I Using to Maximize My Workouts?!

nik workoutSo a few of you have asked what I’ve been using along this weight loss journey, there are so many products out there to aid you and all you want to know is the TRUTH! Well I’m here to share my truth with you.

Waist Trainer & Vests

I have two waist training vest that I rotate between for each work. Both help with supporting my core and getting the best sweat for my workout bucks. For ladies with a heavier bust I recommend the FeelinGirl Women’s Vest Sport Girdle Waist Trainer Trimmer XXL. This training vest wraps around your waist area and has a zipper sports bra area that helps keep your girls intact! We all can use that support. The other vest I use is Junlan Womens Shapewear Weight Loss Neoprene Sauna Sweat Waist Trainer Corset Tank Top Vest Sport Workout Slimming Body Shaper (M, Black Sauna Waist Trainer) I LOVE the corset part of this vest. The snug and secure feeling it gives during the workouts assures that not only is my core supported it forces me maintain proper posture during a vigorous workout session

Hair Care

The biggest issue I’ve had with this journey is maintaining my hair. I am not a natural girl so the flat irons and I are really good friends. Two things how can I maintain great undamaged hair and style. To help maintain undamaged hair (with color) I use the following shampoo and conditioner Vibrant Sexy Hair Shampoo & Conditioner Duo Set Liters. The constant washing of my hair was bleeding my color with the products I mentions I was able to maintain my hair color for 10 weeks, that’s right 10 WEEKS!

Now what do i do with all the sweat I work up. It has to go somewhere. All that moisture builds up I call the puff, which means I can’t tame this wild mane. So to cut down on the puff I use French Fitness Revolution Yoga Headbands for Women/Sweatband for Sports, Workout or Running, Insulates and Absorbs Sweat, Head Bands for Girls from this draws the moisture from my scalp into the headband, and then POOF no PUFF!

Undergarments

The vest and workout gear are just one part of getting fit. One of the most important components of your workout outfit is what you wear underneath your workout clothes. I can honestly say not having the proper underwear deterred me from working out at one point. If you are top-heavy person like me,  you need something that will properly support you, that’s why I wear SYROKAN Women’s High Impact Support Wirefree Workout Racerback Sports Bra Top Black L. This sports bra is amazing and helps keep everything in its place while I bounce around. For my lower half I keep it cute and simple with a boy short. My thighs still do a slow clap so to place a pause on the applause this shorts do the trick, G3 Womens Sports Underwear 6 Pack. Womens Boyshorts Panties Boxers. Pure Stretch. I’m all about fitness and being comfortable while I’m getting fit.

So there you have it! A few products to help you get started on your own fitness journey. You can also check out these items in my store. What are you currently using and willing to share? Drop that info in the comments.

(Amazon Associate post)

parenting

Tune in!!

Here are a few of my favorite guest and podcast episodes from the last year. I appreciate all my guest giving me the opportunity to share their story. Tune in! Click the links!

No Longer Powerless Featuring Sharone ThomasNo Longer Powerless Promo

Policing Our Communities Featuring Jamaal Ansaripolicing our communities

#BOSSMOM Featuring Sherita Carthonbossmom

Dating After Divorce Featuring Clotea Mackdating after divorce

Donnie Lynee Artist SpotlightDonnie Lynee Promo

parenting

A Few of My Faves!

I like to go back and read past post, sometimes for a good laugh but also to see what I’ve been through. Here are a few of my favorite post from last year. Check them out!

The Tantramatic Toddler
It’s happened to the best of us! What do you do when your child is about to have a MAJOR Meltdown. Click above!
tantrum-1

Mommy’s Busting Out!
Are you struggling making Mommy friends? You may have to become your own best friend. Want to know how? Click the link above.
terry-nik

Innocence Lost?!
Do we over sexualize EVERYTHING? Are we, the parents, a major factor in our children’s loss of innocence. Get my thoughts, click the link above.ciara-pregnancy-photo

Weigh-In: The Journey
The journey continues…Weight loss/fitness has become a life style. Be encourage, click the link above.
feelin pretty

#IAmMental
This was Symone’s first attempt at sharing her truth. She’s come along way. If you’d like to know about the road she’s traveled.MM- Nik & Symone

 

parenting

Daddy Duties!

The month of June is all about the Dads! I want to take this opportunity to thank Dads for the important role you play in our children’s lives. No matter the circumstance on how you became a father, when you decided to step into that role know you matter.

“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying good-bye so hard.”
~ Winne the Pooh

shaerod and familydemetrius and daughtermone and sonslawrenzo and daughterr. dykesm. moore jr.dad and kidsanissa and anthonym. johnsonw. reyest. cannonesha and dadnik dad esha 2symone and johnnik dad, eshagoldieb. bibbe. williamsm. blanchardj. brownwiggj. tuggeym. moorejamiel post 5r. wilcoxj. caffey

parenting

I Am A Pink Sister: When Women Unite!

Saturday, May 26 was a BUSY day for me. My son was going to junior prom and I had been invited to attend the event United Women in White Goes Pink: Setting The Expectation! Now me being the superwoman that I am, had a plan mapped out to be at both places at once! Don’t judge me I’m not the only person that thinks they can duplicate themselves. What seemed like an impossible mission, had its ante upped with a wardrobe malfunction. You gotta love life happening! As I panic and rush to find something white to go with my hint of pink, I reflected on the theme of this event “Setting the Expectation!” which meant I needed to set an expectation for myself. So I did, I accepted the fact that I was going to fail miserably at trying to pull this off, but I still had to try. So here it goes…

*I decorate my house, set out the tux, give Symone (my oldest) clear instructions about transporting her brother, beat this gorgeous face, and don a perfect white dress with my blush pink shoes.

nik pink party

As I enter into the Tinkham Veale Center (which I am familiar with as I work across the street), there is an air of peace that fills the entrance. Now that peace could be from meeting two of my favorite pink sisters at the door or it could be that I felt like I did the very first time I entered a #pinkpartyretreat, like I was home. As I walked the hallway to find others there was a sense of love and joy as I passed each lady, making sure to give compliments and receive some graciously. There were hugs and laughter as ladies connected after not seeing each other for a while and then there were new introductions made. I am a people watcher. The most amazing thing to watch is other women enjoying the company of other woman and this place had plenty of that. As I walked up to each vendor table I felt welcomed, that is a huge thing for me, I really like a welcoming feeling. I explored the offerings available by each vendor and made some awesome connections which will be featured soon enough. I look down at my watch and decide I better make my way closer to the main event.

Have you ever hugged someone and felt like all the heaviness of life has been lifted?! This is what it is like to hug Tenora Edwards, founder of The Pink Party Retreat. She has an amazing spirit and a soft gentle voice that makes you feel accepted. There are more vendors to see and more pink sisters to love on. Not only was I able to connect with my pink sisters I made new sisters/connections and laughed so hard til I had to make sure my spanx was still in place (LOL!) We are getting ready to walk in and then BOOM a text comes through I have become the designated chauffeur for my son and his date due to a miscommunication. CRAP! What am I going to do I need to be here to tell you all about this event, but I am his mom so now what! This is where I learned the true meaning of sisterhood. My friend sees the distress on my face I explain the issue and she says no worries, I GOT YOU! Those three words offered more than comfort. So what was the set up, one friend would take picture and the other would video so that I wouldn’t miss a beat while dropping this cute little couple off.

*I unstrapped my shoes, run as fast as I can, hop in the car, run a few lights and there I am to take my son to the junior prom. While enjoying the beginning stages of the event. Prom was magical, you’ll hear about it soon.

Although I missed being there in the physical for a portion, I made notes as to what expectations I will set for myself:

  1. I will expect myself to forgive me! Don’t allow the mistakes of your past to set the stage for your future.
  2. I will expect to love other women and for those other women to love me! Embrace other women, even if they are not ready to embrace, you set the tone for your relationship with them
  3. I will expect to LOVE ME!
  4. I will expect to take time and be with myself. It’s okay to be selfish and take care of me
  5. And the most obvious I set my own expectations in all areas of my life, mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, THIS IS MY LIFE!

While I was super disappointed that I had to cut out early and barely made it back for the ending, I’m thankful that I had my sista girls there who were willing to make sure I was able to be a part. I am forever grateful to be a pink sister, united in love, laughter, and magic!

 

 

parenting

Get Ya Money Right!

Join me in the studio with Aisha Taylor! Aisha is the CEO & Founder of FNPhenomenal. “FNPhenomenal is a movement designed to help single moms build financially phenomenal futures by developing the faith to believe that phenomenal living is their reality and acquiring the knowledge and tools needed to achieve their desired goals.” We’re discussing living your best financial lives! Tune in Get Ya Money Right!

Aisha Taylor Promo for site

parenting

Crown Adjustment!

Join me in the studio with Danielle Hawthorne of Queens Building Queens! Danielle is one of Queens sitting on the throne of the movement Queens Building Queens! This group is all about sisterhood and helping women embrace & build each other. We are going to talk about the need for groups like this and how we can help adjust each others crowns. Tune in Crown Adjustment

crown adjustments promo for site