This Is Personal and Lonely   

I love the work I do. Getting women, especially mothers to reclaim their power, to visualize their best lives, getting them to think outside the box. The vision for The Hot Mama Spot is to help you all blossom, redefine, and grow into the best versions of yourself. It is my complete honor to do this with you. This journey has been a long time coming. I’m not going to lie to you. I put up a lot of resistance because I wasn’t completely sure if I could step into the forefront and lead. The more I began to see the need for the vision I had in my head, the more I felt a burning desire to create this space. Hotties, we are just getting started and I am in awe!

With all the excitement around seeing this vision come to life, this has been one of the lonliest seasons of my life. As I began to notice the transformation within myself I began to see the people around me change. Let me tell you one of the greatest lessons I have learned is that when God gives you a vision, he will create the path, make room, and give you his blessing to grow. What I didn’t initially realize is that this vision was just for me. I tried so many times to get people to sign on, to take them with me on this journey and each time there was something that removed them. I kept wondering why I couldn’t find anyone to help me. Then at 4:04am it came to me, this part of the journey you are meant to do alone. The anxiety that came with that revelation woke me up out of my sleep. I fell back to sleep and woke up that morning with a renewed confidence. I can do this, it’s necessary, so stop fighting it. 

Since I’ve stopped fighting it, I’ve been on the move. I am busy all the time, but there is a continued excitement of seeing this plan come to fruition. I don’t know if any of you have a dream that you are scared to put your weight behind because you feel unsupported or alone, let me be honest, you are alone. Don’t be afraid because there is purpose in your loneliness. This is your time to do the work, others will come but for right now, in this very moment, it’s your time! 

Some days this alone feeling can seem unbearable, but there is something about knowing the work isn’t in vain that brings me a sense of peace. So whatever it is you want to do, be bold, be confident, and be okay doing it alone.

Reinventing Yourself

The many faces of an elevating Nik!

Have you ever looked in the mirror and you don’t recognize the person looking back at you. I’m not talking about physically, but mentally you just don’t recognize this person? I can be honest and tell you I have. I didn’t recognize the pain in my face from trying to please everyone around me, I didn’t recognize the hunch forming on my back for trying to shrink myself for others, I didn’t recognize the nonchalant stare that made me look like I had given up hope. But here I was looking at myself wondering who I was. I think people assume when you talk about reinventing yourself you are being fake. That is not the case. If there is something about you, you don’t like, why not put forth the effort to fall in love/like with you again. 

This journey called life isn’t easy. We get on a path and  conform to where it leads us, forgetting that some of our paths are not meant to be straight, we are met to hit curves, bumps in the roads, detours. We are going to be uncomfortable. Like being stuck in a traffic jam and you can’t get over, you can’t go around it, you have to go through it. Once on the other side you feel like a whole new person because now you can get where you were trying to go. Do you feel like that with your life. Stuck in a traffic jam, you’ve become complacent with who you are right now and you don’t see a way around it, over it and you are barely pushing through? It’s okay hottie, I can tell you a majority of the people you encounter every day feel like this, although they will never be brave enough to admit it. 

I dare you to look at yourself in the mirror past the physical and see yourself. Is there something you want to change. Nothing’s wrong with a little re-invention to be who you are destined to be on the next level of this journey. Here’s to the new you!

Talk Yo Sh!t!

Journal Entry 10.5.21- Talk Yo Sh!t

As you all know I’m trying to stop swearing. It’s a work in progress. I didn’t know how to express what I needed to say in any other way. Here’s the thing, I WOKE UP LIKE THIS! I feel amazing. There is something in the air that is giving me life and I am feeling like a gazillion bucks! Have you ever had one of those days when you look good, you feel good, your day is going good, kids (if you have them) are behaving, there’s love in the air, you are just having a great day?!

In the past when these moments would arrive I wouldn’t totally embrace them. I would say this is too good to be true and wait for the shoe to drop that would send my world into a whirlwind. I found it difficult to think that things for me could go great, amazing, super dope. My mindset was dictating be anxious, worry, be afraid, because if all this good is happening to someone like you then the universe must be tripping and sooner or later it will figure out it’s mistake and set things right. See the undeserving, unworthy mindset will have you allowing a great day to pass you by.

Not today Satan! Today I talk my sh!t! I’m excited, I’m blessed, I’m beautiful, I am successful, I enter a room and I command attention, respect, joy, peace, and happiness. I am walking on cloud nine and enjoying every minute. I deserve this moment and I’m soaking it up. Today I will accept every compliment and not point out what is wrong as a reply, today I will not run when someone holds the door open for me, I will walk graciously up to them at my normal pace and say thanks; I will not downplay my greatness. Today my crown is on and fitting perfectly.

Hotties! How y’all feeling? Look at you, you are beautiful, you are attracting on a high vibration, you are walking tall and into your destiny, you are deserving, you are worthy, you are more than enough. Today talk yo sh!t, pop ya collar and let the world see you!

Frenemies

The other day I sashayed through the doors of my workplace. I was feeling good, my spirits were up and I owned it with my model walk! Have you had one of those days where you look good so you feel good? I was having that type of day. I greet the people I pass at the door and then I hear it, “girl, you got on that church dress?!” with a little chuckle after. Then I hear “I love that dress on you, you look good girl!” I smile, nod, and say thank you! I was thanking both. The first lady then came back with “Oh girl you know I’m just kidding you look good!” I nod say thanks again and proceed to my office. I’m sure I am not the only person who’s encountered this, someone who you may view as a friend throwing a little shade your way. See these weren’t just ladies I work with, these were women I speak with often, they are work friends. This wasn’t the first time this individual had thrown a little shade my way and the way it was going those little shady comments were snowballing into major overcast. I’d like to think being a woman’s woman I exude confidence that doesn’t make others feel intimidated, but at last I can only control my emotions and my thinking and I have to realize that no matter how much I encourage, keep it real, or inspire others, there will always be someone in the background ready with some shade.

Those folks I described above are Frenemies. They say they are friends and sometimes their actions even show it, but ultimately at the end of the day they secretly feel some animosity towards you. Now you may be thinking Nik it was just a comment about a dress. Well I can tell you it starts with small comments that seem like nothing and then they feel free to attack whatever they feel will make you uncomfortable. Because why should you feel good, why should you be confident? Be careful of these individuals. They are the wolf in sheep’s clothing that you allow in, because hey, I’m friendly. The thing I have discovered is I’d rather be more discerning than friendly. My discernment allows me to connect with people genuinely and develop a friendship and foundation. Do you have some frenemies in your life? How do you handle them?

Actin Funny!

The other day I was on a call with my coach and she was giving me the business. Y’all when I say the business I mean she was reading me left, right, up, and down. Admittedly, I had a little attitude, who is she to be telling me about myself? After a brief eye roll, I had to agree with her, she was right, I’d been playing it too safe, keeping myself in a corner because I didn’t want to offend, and not celebrating myself because of course I want to be humble. I’d hit the gas on a project and just as it was taking off I’d hit the brakes and everything would come to a screeching halt. Her next question was, “Why?”. Why did I submit to going full throttle and then all of a sudden hit the brakes, derail the vision, and give up. I think she wanted me to sit with this for a while, but truth be told I already knew the answer. The truth is every single time I get excited and know that the vision is coming to life there’s a voice that starts to doubt me and the biggest voice was mine.

See I know I am talented. It’s a flex! I am really good at whatever I put my mind to. Some of the things I’ve accomplished are second nature. I don’t even have to think about them, they just are. With that being said I’ve encountered folks who seem to think me bragging about what I’ve accomplished is me acting funny. I genuinely have experienced folks wanting me to downplay the awesomely amazing person I am because it’s TOO much. Baby, if you know anything about me I live in TOO much! So what did I do, I started to not share what I was accomplishing, began second guessing myself, doubted my God-given talent, and got silent. I’m not talking about the time I took off to re-group, I’m talking about the, “I have the answer to the questions, but I’ll be labeled as a know-it-all so just be quiet”, silence. Let me tell y’all as a creative spirit being quiet can feel like death. My writing tools got weak, my thoughts were jumbled, I was a mess all because I stopped believing in myself and allowed the “support” of others to dictate who I am. *Le sigh!*

In the moment I was getting that read from my coach every emotion I felt after hearing “you doing too much” or “Girl is that your lane” floated up to the top and I immediately got pissed! I wasn’t mad at any other individual but myself. See I know I am the person who has to believe in me first or what’s the point of trying to convince others. I immediately wrote the words “I’m acting funny!” The truth is I need to act funny. I am talented! And if you can’t deal with me patting myself on the back, giving God some glory for allowing me to set a goal and obtain it, or you just have it in your mind I can’t or won’t win, then the way I act will be funny to you. I deserve every moment in the sun, every spotlight that is intended to shine on me, I deserve to be the center of attention.

Don’t let anyone steal from you the confidence, the drive, the act funny you have for yourself.