Let’s get straight to the point. In my mid-thirties, my friendship circle changed. It was not by choice. I was bitter and angry about how things had turned out. I felt abandoned, betrayed, and annoyed. At 30-something, you don’t expect to be entering new friendships after your relationships with people for over 30 years. But here I was outside, making a decision to build new connections. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be open to being vulnerable again, but I was always going to be and have a good time.
I didn’t realize it then, but a shift occurred in my life. There were things, people, and habits that needed to change. However, I am not big on change, so I would have never disrupted my life. I’d learned about disruptive innovation and thought it only applied to business. It does not. I needed this disruption to have the shift in my life fully come to fruition.
My sister tells me people are seasons, reasons, or lifetimes. That was the first shift, changing my mindset about friendships and realizing that the ending of one doesn’t mean I don’t deserve friendship but that some connections can hold you captive because you don’t learn people’s place in your lives. The second shift came when my sis ( I don’t feel right just calling her friend) Lanience told me I was a b!tch. You wouldn’t believe it to see our friendship now, but she wasn’t wrong. I carried myself in the way of always being on the defense and wasn’t open to allowing people into my life. Her friendship changed that. The third came in two forms. One, I was invited to an event about sisterhood. I planned to blog about the event and share my thoughts. This is where I met my mentor and friend Tenora, who opened my eyes to the elevation of friendships and showed me the good, bad, and ugly sides of sisterhood. The second was a gift exchange. I did not know this person, but she listed a few things she liked on her sheet, so I got to work. Little did I know that paying attention to that sheet would lead to a friendship that added two more people and is one of the most profound connections with other women I have ever had (Kindred Spirits).
I want to thank the friendships that lead to this. Although we have gone our separate ways, you all significantly changed me for the better. I am forever grateful for the time we had together. Here’s to finding true lasting sisterhoods.
Shout out to my main thangs, Ayesha And Laniece, the most consistent sisters in my life. Love y’all to pieces.
SN: My sister Ayesha is my best friend. There may be consequences if I don’t make that clear, lol.