The other day I sashayed through the doors of my workplace. I was feeling good, my spirits were up and I owned it with my model walk! Have you had one of those days where you look good so you feel good? I was having that type of day. I greet the people I pass at the door and then I hear it, “girl, you got on that church dress?!” with a little chuckle after. Then I hear “I love that dress on you, you look good girl!” I smile, nod, and say thank you! I was thanking both. The first lady then came back with “Oh girl you know I’m just kidding you look good!” I nod say thanks again and proceed to my office. I’m sure I am not the only person who’s encountered this, someone who you may view as a friend throwing a little shade your way. See these weren’t just ladies I work with, these were women I speak with often, they are work friends. This wasn’t the first time this individual had thrown a little shade my way and the way it was going those little shady comments were snowballing into major overcast. I’d like to think being a woman’s woman I exude confidence that doesn’t make others feel intimidated, but at last I can only control my emotions and my thinking and I have to realize that no matter how much I encourage, keep it real, or inspire others, there will always be someone in the background ready with some shade.
Those folks I described above are Frenemies. They say they are friends and sometimes their actions even show it, but ultimately at the end of the day they secretly feel some animosity towards you. Now you may be thinking Nik it was just a comment about a dress. Well I can tell you it starts with small comments that seem like nothing and then they feel free to attack whatever they feel will make you uncomfortable. Because why should you feel good, why should you be confident? Be careful of these individuals. They are the wolf in sheep’s clothing that you allow in, because hey, I’m friendly. The thing I have discovered is I’d rather be more discerning than friendly. My discernment allows me to connect with people genuinely and develop a friendship and foundation. Do you have some frenemies in your life? How do you handle them?