Actin Funny!

The other day I was on a call with my coach and she was giving me the business. Y’all when I say the business I mean she was reading me left, right, up, and down. Admittedly, I had a little attitude, who is she to be telling me about myself? After a brief eye roll, I had to agree with her, she was right, I’d been playing it too safe, keeping myself in a corner because I didn’t want to offend, and not celebrating myself because of course I want to be humble. I’d hit the gas on a project and just as it was taking off I’d hit the brakes and everything would come to a screeching halt. Her next question was, “Why?”. Why did I submit to going full throttle and then all of a sudden hit the brakes, derail the vision, and give up. I think she wanted me to sit with this for a while, but truth be told I already knew the answer. The truth is every single time I get excited and know that the vision is coming to life there’s a voice that starts to doubt me and the biggest voice was mine.

See I know I am talented. It’s a flex! I am really good at whatever I put my mind to. Some of the things I’ve accomplished are second nature. I don’t even have to think about them, they just are. With that being said I’ve encountered folks who seem to think me bragging about what I’ve accomplished is me acting funny. I genuinely have experienced folks wanting me to downplay the awesomely amazing person I am because it’s TOO much. Baby, if you know anything about me I live in TOO much! So what did I do, I started to not share what I was accomplishing, began second guessing myself, doubted my God-given talent, and got silent. I’m not talking about the time I took off to re-group, I’m talking about the, “I have the answer to the questions, but I’ll be labeled as a know-it-all so just be quiet”, silence. Let me tell y’all as a creative spirit being quiet can feel like death. My writing tools got weak, my thoughts were jumbled, I was a mess all because I stopped believing in myself and allowed the “support” of others to dictate who I am. *Le sigh!*

In the moment I was getting that read from my coach every emotion I felt after hearing “you doing too much” or “Girl is that your lane” floated up to the top and I immediately got pissed! I wasn’t mad at any other individual but myself. See I know I am the person who has to believe in me first or what’s the point of trying to convince others. I immediately wrote the words “I’m acting funny!” The truth is I need to act funny. I am talented! And if you can’t deal with me patting myself on the back, giving God some glory for allowing me to set a goal and obtain it, or you just have it in your mind I can’t or won’t win, then the way I act will be funny to you. I deserve every moment in the sun, every spotlight that is intended to shine on me, I deserve to be the center of attention.

Don’t let anyone steal from you the confidence, the drive, the act funny you have for yourself.

Published by Just One Hot Mom

Just One Hot Mom was developed to reach the matriarch’s of families from all walks of life to let them know they are beautiful inside and out, appreciated, loved, recognized and honored for the who they are. Just One Hot Mom recognizes each person as an individual with the best intentions for their family. We are a community that offers support, advice, and a place to vent. We are dedicated to empowering people to be who they are called to be, while growing alongside our families and receiving the nurturing we need.

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