Holiday Hell…THE UPDATE!

In case you missed our previous post here it is Holiday Hell Top 20 Annoying Things About the Holiday Season. Well Hot Peeps we are at it again. Join my sister and I️ as we update the list. Remember it’s all in fun, enjoy your holiday.

1. Going LIVE on social media to prove you and your family are having a good time. Can’t be having that much fun with each other if all y’all doing is updating your social media about how much fun your having. #liveinthemomentdontpostit

2. We get it your children are siblings despite who their parents are. Stop making those poor children wear matching outfits. They are individuals and every outfit and all colors are not for everybody #itainteasybeinggreen

3. If you call me and ask me am I️ coming over for the holiday dinner and I️ ask who’s there, DO NOT announce it to the whole room. Families have enough issues without letting everybody know that because so and so showed up I️ ain’t coming. Be like a normal family and despise each other in private. #theLordsaystoloveyounotlikeyou

4. IF YOU DO NOT CONTRIBUTE TO A MEAL YOU HAVE NO TO GO PLATE! Why are the first people to complain about the holiday meal the ones who did not contribute, but have a stack of plates to take home.

5. Also if you did not contribute you DO NOT have the right to ask who made what, YOU didn’t make nothing!

6. If you are married but on the outs with your spouse DO NOT bring your special friend to the family function. You will not have us appearing on the First 48, Cheaters, Maury, or any other show that will expose your cheating behind.

7. If you CANNOT play spades DO NOT sit at the spades table! Those people are professionals and will hand you your behind if you can’t play. THIS IS NOT A TEACHING MOMENT!

8. If someone can’t cook, let’s just be honest, stop having them make that watery dressing or stiff greens and pretend to be thankful they brought it. Hold an intervention prior to the holiday and place them on permanent plastic wares, drinks, table/chair, duty. No sense wasting their time or yours.

9. If we are all contributing funds to a meal and the cost is, let’s say $10 that is $10 per person in your house, you can’t have a house of 9 people and expect to only contribute $10, y’all will be eating Top Ramen if you come to my house.

10. If you know your kids act a plum monkey fool and you can’t control the circus, come with funds on hand for whatever they break cause you buying it!

11. If you are mad at another family member for whatever reason don’t spend the entire time trying to get others to take your side. WE DO NOT CARE, WE CAME FOR THE FOOD! Besides she is my ride and you don’t have a car!

12. CONGRATULATIONS you have decided to live a healthier lifestyle, we commend you, but inside these walls, at this dinner, we eat PORK, BEEF, CHICKEN, beans, greens, tomatoes, YOU NAME IT!

13. If you eat generic brands at your house but expect me to bring name brands to your dinner, the devil is a lie, you getting exactly what you would’ve paid for.

14. If you have “sticky fingers” don’t be mad when you are only allowed in 2 rooms at my house, the kitchen and dining room, you know why!

15. If yo’ mama, auntie, grandma, cousin, sister, WHOMEVER has a messed up weave or wig, you better help them get it right before the holiday, don’t let them become a meme, the internet is BRUTAL!

16. And again as for the above if any of those peeps are “aspiring MUA” be kind, send a few YouTube blending videos their way, there are do and don’ts and we need to stay away from the don’ts.

17. If you are offended by any of this keep your sensitive self at home. THESE ARE ALL JOKES! We love yo nappy weave having, sugar in the greens making, can’t handle ya liquor, Bebe kid having self. WE are family we should be able to laugh at each other.

18. If you have an inquisitive child with no chill, send them to sit by me, this should be fun! #bwahahahahaha

19. The only person who can overrule me in my own home is GRANDMA! NO ONE ELSE’S OPINION MATTERS!

20. Finally we get it you love giving back. You have fed the homeless, you did coats for kids, toys for tots, and caroling around the city…KUDOS to you! But if you think for a second that gets you out of helping me clean up this mess, YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN! Help is what help does so be of good help and grab a broom, a mop, a rag or whatever, remember FAMILY FIRST!

I hope I was able to get a few laughs out of my HOT PEEPS! Please enjoy your holiday season, spread love and a lot of laughs. The HOTTEST Family loves you! Season’s Greetings!

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. cleverlychanging says:

    Hilarous. I agree with you though. Especially the one about making sure you bring something to contribute.

    Like

  2. biancadottin says:

    Number 3 is my favorite! I’m notorious for calling to see who’s there first before coming over.

    Like

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