It’s that time of year where most parents credit Santa for bringing gifts to their little bundles of joy. NOT THIS YEAR SANTA!!! It’s all in love, find out below why we moms are taking back the credit our kids give Santa. Happy Holidays!
(featuring Ayesha Ansari)
- I didn’t see Santa standing his out of shape behind in line for this Hatchable that I had to arm wrestle somebody Granny for.
- When that credit card bill comes in January, will Santa allow me to list him as my payment method.
- Where the hell is Santa when I’m tripping down the stairs in the middle of the night to put presents under the Christmas tree, slip and fall and end up with a $500 copay. Can I get on Santa’s insurance plan?
- Where is Santa when I have to drink this milk and eat these cookies, despite the fact I’m on a diet and lactose intolerant and will spend Christmas morning in the bathroom. I could throw the stuff out, but will Santa reimburse me for my groceries?!
- Where is Santa when your kid gets mad because they got Elena of the DR instead of Elena of Avalor? They’re the same right?!
- Where is Santa when you’re out Christmas Eve at 11:59pm trying to find your “beloved mother-in-law” the perfect gift? She ain’t gone like it no way.
- Where is Santa when you’re trying to prepare a Christmas meal to feed 25 people but your budget says you can feed 2, you and the dog?!
- Did Santa pay $586,785,830,809.71 to fly your son home from college, only to tell you he wish he stayed on campus?!
- Did Santa sit and plot out every sale, print coupons, calculate cash back, donate blood to give your kids Christmas magic?!
- And lastly was Santa up until 5am wrapping gifts, making sure every bow was perfect only to have a little terror wake up at 5:02am and rip what took you 10 hours 45 minutes, 6 seconds to wrap.
So sorry Santa this year I’m taking all the credit. Moms unite, it’s time Santa gets put in his place. By the way Santa if you’re reading this it’s a joke, lol, I’m on the NICE list right?!