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Hot Tips from My Hot Daddy!

I love my dad, he is and amazing person. Fellas just for you, I asked him a few questions below are his responses.  My sister and I turned out to be AMAZING so heed his advice and your kids just might turn out amazing too.  Enjoy!

daddy me

 

  1. If you had to give a new dad advice about becoming a father, what would you say?

Daddy: Know that your children are a gift from God, a blessing that you mold and guide.  This is another chance to get life right, by making better choices and avoiding some hurtful mistakes.  And know that you may not do everything right and you won’t know everything.

  1. What would you tell a dad having a hard time providing financially for his child(ren)?

Daddy: All you can do is give what you have, but most of all give LOVE and TIME!

  1. What advice would you give a dad trying to co-parent with a difficult person?

Daddy: Remember that what you do is for your children.  It’s not about the two of you, but about the children.  However, do not sacrifice the health and mental well-being of you or your children, to please a selfish person.

  1. When is an appropriate time to introduce your child(ren) to the person you are dating?

Daddy: When you are sure that the person wants to be a part of your family and understands that there is another person in your children’s life and somewhat remains in your life as well.

  1. What is one thing you want your daughter to know about dealing with the opposite sex and relationships?

Daddy: That no one can make you happy if you don’t put yourself first.  Trust in God to provide your needs and not your wants.

  1. What would you want your son to know about dealing with the opposite sex and relationships? (FYI- my dad has no sons)

Daddy: That a wife is a mate to stand beside you and support you, but that life has many challenges before the right one comes along.

  1. What’s the best dad advice you’ve ever received?

Daddy: That a man has a responsibility and an obligation to be a man and Father to his children, whether he marries the mother or not.  And always show the mother of your children respect, especially in front of your children, despite any difference you to may have.

  1. What advice would you give a dad that has lost contact with his children and wants to rebuild a relationship?

Daddy: Frist pray to God for guidance.  You will need to understand that the road to repairing a relationship has many potholes, but you can overcome them by putting one foot in front of the other and trusting that you are  doing what’s best for your children.

  1. What are your thoughts on paying child support?

Daddy: Child support is an interesting term.  If I am devoted to my children, than I’m only doing what should be expected of me as a Father, but if I only look at it as SHE is getting the money, it doesn’t make a difference what I think.

  1. What’s the best part about being a dad?

Daddy: Holding your child in your arms for the first time, seeing their first steps, hearing the word Da Da for the first time, and being told I can do it myself , and feeling the love that all those memories bring back to me.

 

Jamal (my dad) is a retired homicide detective, enjoying his new status as retiree and his grandchildren.

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Dads Just Wanna Have Fun!

dad playing 1The other day I was doing my normal Saturday chores around the house. As usual I went to check on everybody and no one was at their assigned location.  Of course this annoyed me.  Why do I have to fight with everyone to get chores done, isn’t this our home?  I began yelling names, no answers.  I get to the kitchen and look out the window, there they were the whole damn crew playing outside.  As we all know, all mothers have prepared a speech for such an occasion, I had mine locked and loaded.  As I make my way outside I go back to the window as I hear a deeper voice full of laughter.  I look out the window again and who do I see, the One Handsome Dad, squirting water, tagging people, and throwing balls.  Annoyance level on 100!  Why does he get to have all the fun and I get to be the drill sergeant?! NO FAIR!!

dad playing 2So, instead of going outside as the drill sergeant, I went upstairs to change. As I headed toward the garage I saw everyone stop playing and starting (pretending) to pick-up the yard.  I thought, I got this drill sergeant thing down, but wait, I was out there to join in on the fun or at least try.  I walked past all of them without saying a word, went to my table, put my feet up and sat back.  They all stared in disbelief.  I didn’t yell or nag or give a dirty look, I just sat back and relaxed.  In typical One Handsome Dad fashion, he began to play with them all over again.  I mean they were having a really good time.  I wanted to be laughing, I wanted to get wet from the neck down, I don’t care how much we play, do not wet my hair.  Then I heard it, “Hey Nik, come here!”  The amount of joy I felt on the inside was amazing.  At first it was like being picked last for the team and then it was like who cares they want me to play on their team.  We played for a bit and then of course I had to get back to chores, someone’s gotta man the ship.  But for a moment I understood why the kids like hanging out with Dad, although he teaches, reprimands, and loves them, it’s ultimately in his nature to have fun, which makes him a funner (I made that word up) person.  I can’t be mad, that’s why I like hanging with him.

dad playingShout out to all the dads and kids ditching chores to go outside and play. Know that this won’t always be an excuse with mom, but she gets it (hopefully).  Don’t forget she needs to play to so invite her out to have some fun too.

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I Know You’re Not My Dad but Thanks for Playing the Part

Hey Granddad!

 

I just wanted to let you know that you are one cool dude, lol. There are many times that I miss not having my Dad around, but then you come through and remind me, I have a piece of him in you.  What more could I ask for then to have such an amazing person help raise me.  I remember I didn’t know how to tie a tie, mom had just bought a bunch of clip-ons (she was mad at the YouTube tutorial), when you saw the clip-ons you just laughed, I laughed too.  You didn’t make mom feel bad, you just took me to the side and taught me.  Thank you grandpa for never making mom feel bad.  She’s had it rough and I know she appreciates you.

By the way, thank you for spoiling me, for always encouraging me to live in the moment and appreciate it. I don’t know how many things I would not have tried if it had not been for you.  Even if it was something that might embarrass me, you still cheered me on.  Papa as I get older talk me out of some of these things.  I mean really Granddad you knew that trying to impress a girl by putting on your cologne and Sunday slow dance slacks and shoes was going to be hilarious, but you set me up and we all had a good laugh.  By the way, I got that girls number, so thanks!

Pops I know you say keep it short and sweet so to that I just want to say Thanks!. You don’t have to do what you do, but I’m glad you do!  (lol, say that three times fast)

Love you!!

P.S.  Do you know what LOL means? HA!!!!!

 

 

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Real Fathers, Real Moments

Thank you Dads for all your love, support, and laughter!

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

Many men can make a fortune but very few can build a family.J.S. Bryan

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.Sigmund Freud

andre watkins
Meet Andre Watkins.  He is the father of Keyonna, DeAndre, and Desirae.  He has overcome many obstacles in his life all while raising three amazing young adults and being a great husband to Latoyia.  He is a great father who provides support physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  He keeps the kids laughing, but when it’s time to be serious they know how to adjust.  The love and respect their dad and that to me that’s worthy of honor.
~ Kawanda Williams

A Father dosen’t tell you that he loves you. He shows you.Demitri The Stoneheart

Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers and fathering is a very important stage in their development.David Gottesman

When my father didn’t have my hand….he had my back.Linda Poindexter

I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.Umberto Eco Foucault’s Pendulum

nisha brother
Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.Reed Markham

A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.Billy Graham

Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough.Wilhelm Busch

marc and mara
It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.John Sinor

My father was my teacher. But most importantly he was a great dad.Beau Bridges

I mean, I look at my dad. He was twenty when he started having a family, and he was always the coolest dad. He did everything for his kids, and never made us feel like he was pressured. I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.Adam Sandler

I’ve had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardships that my father went through in order to get me to where I started.Bartrand Hubbard

Everyone can be a father, but it takes a lot to be a daddy.Unknown

Growing up, I was taught that a man has to defend his family. When the wolf is trying to get in, you gotta stand in the doorway.B.B. King

It’s only when you grow up, and step back from him, or leave him for your own career and your own home. It’s only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. Pride reinforces love.Margaret Truma

Of all the titles that I’ve been privileged to have, the title of ‘dad’ has always been the best.Ken Norton

My father never talked about the sacrifices that the family made for me.Novak Djokovic

Fathers, you are the head and strength of the family unit. If you are not in place, there is a weakness in the link.Anita R. Sneed-Carter

tuggey and crew 6

A woman can take care of the family. It takes a man to provide structure, to provide stability.Tom DeLay

tristan and dad

I love my little man to death, I’ve been there for him since the day he was born.  Day by day watching him grow into the smart boy that he is now.  I told him when he was a baby that I would be more than a step dad to him, not I don’t consider myself a stepfather.  I love being his daddy and I try to be the best father I can be for him.  It’s only right he’s the best son anyone can ask for.  I thank God  for him and our bond that we have, no one can ever break.

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An Open Letter to my Bonus Dad

Hey Steve!

SteveI’m a very lucky girl! Not only did God see fit to bless me with an awesome dad, but in His divine greatness He saw fit to give me you as a Bonus Dad.  WOW!  How cool is that?!  I know in the beginning I wasn’t easy to get along with, but no matter what you still pushed through.  Day by day my heart softens towards you.  It’s amazing how emotional teenage girls can be (lol).  I bet you never guessed the amount of time it would take to crack through the tough wall that is my personality.  But you did it, and I am eternally grateful that you did.

You hung in there during all my troublesome teen years and you were there through my misguided twenties. You didn’t try to replace my dad, instead you just became a cool dude who offered advice and cared about me.  I know you cared because if I were you I don’t know how many times I would have put me out the house for my obnoxious behavior.  But you just laughed and made fun of me.  You made it so that I was able to laugh at myself.  Dude we are really silly! Not only did you come along as a Bonus Dad, but you gave me a baby brother.  I love this dude like we share the same DNA and he gets the same torture my sister gets.  There’s no step between us, he’s just my brother.

When I finally had children of my own, you were so excited. You are their Granddad and you took to spoiling them right away.  My son for the longest time thought you took his nose and replaced it at night (that boy is strange), he really looked up to you and misses you.  Thank you for never making us feel like we were not a part of your family, for embracing us and allowing our worlds to mix.  You did good sir.

I pray that you are in heaven meeting someone who tells as many off colored jokes as you, sitting on a porch sipping special lemonade. Happy Father’s Day!

Nik

Dedicated to the memory of Steven Michael Sanders.

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Open Letter To My Daddy In Heaven

Dear Daddy,

People keep saying that with each day the pain will get easier. I don’t feel this way.  I’m missing you so much Daddy!  There’s a piece of my heart gone and an empty hole that I know can’t be filled is left there.  I miss you!

I miss our talks, the way you were always ready to listen and give advice. I miss the way you always tried to fix things around the house, despite not being so handy.  I miss the passion you showed when you talked about the family.  I miss our little jokes and the moments you wiped away my tears.  I MISS YOU!

I wish heaven had visiting hours or at least a day, I wouldn’t need words, just a hug from you Daddy. I pray that God allows all Daddies to see how much they are loved and missed.  I pray for you still, that you are happy, that you are not in pain.  I pray for us too Daddy, I pray that we will be thankful for having you be the man to show us what a man should stand for.  I’m trying hard to understand why my Daddy had to go away.  I mean, I wasn’t ready, had you really fulfilled your purpose and you could leave?!  This is so unfair, I wasn’t ready for you to stop being my Dad.  The pain can be unbearable, but mom said God makes no mistakes and I know she’s right.

Well Daddy, I’m going to go. I hope I’m still making you proud, love you!

Heartbroken

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Being Nanekia…The Rant

CONSENTI know I said that June was strictly dedicated to the daddies, but I wouldn’t be me if I held this back so here it goes. On my personal Facebook Page I had a mini rant about this despicable creep Brock Turner.  In case you are hiding under a rock this is the sadistic creep who raped an unconscious woman behind a dumpster and I believe he would have left her for dead, if not for two strangers that caught him in the act and detained him.  These two individuals held this animal until authorities arrived and were able to take him into custody.  I salute these two individuals as they appear to be with a select few people holding this person accountable and made him face what he had done by not allowing him to run.  The victim in this case, in my opinion, has not received justice, instead she was gut punched with the truth that the system has failed yet another victim.

As the mother of a young lady that is of college age this is very scary. I know we teach our kids at home how to watch for danger, we teach them to be smart and aware.  We don’t expect to send them away from home and have some madman/woman attack our babies.  A few weeks ago I posted “Mommy, I’m Grown!” in which I tell the story of my then 18 year old daughter performing a disappearing act.  My story had a happy ending, she ended up being at a friend’s house.  The part of the story untold was my sister and I at the police station and a call coming across the radio about an 18 year old female found assaulted behind a building, she had been badly beaten and raped.  This part was hard for me to write, the images going through my head were so intense, I became physically ill.  I stood there as the officer tried to quiet the call, but it was too late, I gave him a description of my daughter and he moved slowly toward the radio to answer.  This was a nightmare!  I couldn’t read the officers face as he returned to the desk, I felt like he was moving in slow motion.  He let out a deep breath and said “I was praying this wasn’t your daughter.” Just as those words left his mouth, I received a text, from my daughter.  I never was sure why I didn’t tell this part of the story, but God has a way of letting you reveal things in His time and I feel like I need to express this now.   I could have easily been the mother of a victim.  I can tell you I know for a fact that the punishment this creep received would not have satisfied any thoughts of vengeance I would have had.  I can only imagine the slap in the face this 6 month staycation for such a horrible crime is making this family and their daughter feel.

To this young lady and her family, I am so sorry the system failed you. I want to thank you for your statement.  I know this could not have been easy to write, it was extremely hard to read.  I thank you for opening up the conversation in households that may have not been had but are now being discussed because you were brave enough to speak your truth.  My prayer is that you have a successful, happy, loved, joyous, and abundant life.  That the opportunities offered to you are above and beyond your wildest dreams.  That as this rape is a horrific, unforgettable part of your story, you will use it to strengthen who you are and that this rape will not define you.  To your parents, you have raised an amazing daughter, she is strong and powerful and she has given strength and power to other people.

If you are reading this and have been a victim of sexual assault, please seek help by contacting the National Sexual Assault Hotline, 1.800.656.HOPE (4673). Don’t be ashamed, don’t be afraid, and don’t allow injustice stop you from having a voice.

 

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Open Letter to My Missing In Action Father

 

mia dad 1

Dear Sir,

I am not sure if I should address you as Dad, Father, Guy who use to live here, so I’’’ just go with sir for now.  I haven’t seen you in a while and we haven’t spoken either.  I was curious, did I do something wrong?  I mean I get it, you and mom can’t seem to get along, but I at least thought I was cool with you.  Did I offend you in some way?  I know my behavior isn’t always the best and my attitude can be a little rough, is that why you didn’t show up to our visit?  Is that why you haven’t shown up the last few months?

Dad a lot has happened.  I’m growing up and I have questions.  Questions that I want to ask you, that I know my Dad will be able to answer.  I called you today, but it went to voicemail, so I left you a message.  I thought you might be at work and couldn’t answer the phone, so I thought I would send a text, “Hey Dad!”  That was a few hours ago, maybe you’re working late.  I’m sure you’ll reply soon.

Daddy I wish I could see you.  I remember we use to have so much fun, I miss that fun.  My Daddy would play with me, we’d get ice cream and you would make me laugh until juice came out my nose.  Do you remember that Daddy?  Daddy we were happy, we were best friends.  I miss you Daddy, do you miss me?

I waiting on you Daddy.  I’m not mad, but my feelings are a little hurt.  If you see this can you call me?  I’m waiting!

Missing you!

Your Child

mia dad

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Open Letter to a Father from “A Daddy’s Girl”

daddy paintingHey Daddy! It’s your princess here.  I just want to say thank you for being my hero.  Thank you for being the first man to show me how a lady should be treated.  You are always there with a helping hand, for all that “handy” work I need done or a shoulder when I believe life’s gotten too hard and I need some encouragement.  Thank you Daddy!

Daddy, can I ask you some questions? How did you become so amazing?  How did you know how to be such a good Daddy to me?  You always know what to do or say to make everything better.  You always let me know that I matter.  Even when I feel like I’ve disappointed you, you never shame me, instead you wipe the tears and help me get ready for whatever comes next.  I’m so happy God saw fit to match us up, I couldn’t imagine my life with another Daddy. 

esha daddy meDaddy it’s amazing to me that I can feel so much love from one person. Do you think I will ever find someone that will love me as much as you do?  By the way, I know you might not like him, but your approval of this man will mean so much to me.  I value your opinion.  You’re so smart and caring and genuine.  Those are all things I hope I find in the man who will be my kid’s Daddy.  Thanks for taking the time to teach me that being your true unique self matters and that I’ll need to be accepting (not a push over) of the best people have to offer even if it exposes some flaws.  Love is love and you have the choice to give it freely.  Thank you for loving me freely.

daddy meI hope I make you proud because I’m proud of you. You’ve planted a seed that is confident, gorgeous, god-fearing, intelligent, witty, strong, passionate, and loving.  You’ve watered and nurtured me until you saw a better reflection of you.  Daddy I will always be your little girl and you will always be my best Daddy ever, I love you!