Self-Care Suggestions

self care blog

  • Pray for yourself.
  • Be still. We all have a billions things to do every day, but you need to take some time breath, and be still.
  • Love you. Look in the mirror and remind yourself of how much you love you and mean it
  • Enjoy your day no matter what happens determine that you will find joy in your day
  • Be happy with who you are. Don’t compare yourself to others, you are the best you
  • Define your relationship with God (or your higher being of choice) don’t allow someone else to tell you what it should be
  • Cherish those relationships that nurture your well being
  • Don’t be afraid to claim what you deserve
  • Move your body, even if it’s off beat (lol)
  • Identify your purpose love it and live it
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Mom Take Care of Mom- Permission Granted

jayda nix(Featuring Jayda Nix, confident, bold, young woman who is to go into the field of medicine, a junior in high school currently working with me as a mentoree in my office.)

Do you believe your mom takes good care of herself?
I believe my mom takes good care of herself.

Would you think your mom was selfish if she took time to do or buy something just for her, even if you wanted something for yourself?
No, being my mother’s only child she always has put me first. Now that I am older and can buy things for myself, my mother deserves to be able to do nice things for herself when she wants.

When your mom is tired and frustrated, have there been times you wanted to tell her to take a time out? Did you tell her to take a time out? Why or why not?
Usually when I see my mother stressed out, I will give her time to herself to let her feel better on her own. I won’t usually say anything to her because it could possibly make her mood worse.

Do you think if mom took better care of herself that would improve her relationships with others, give an example of improvement?
An example of an improvement could be the relationship between my mother and myself. Because I have not been working recently, my mother has had to come out of pocket for the things I used to take care of myself like hair, gas money etc. If she was able to focus more on herself and not small things like that, I think our relationship can be improved because she would see me as an adult while trying to slowly become more and more independent.

If you could give your mom something to take better care of herself, what would it be and why?
I would want to take my mom to the spa. As far as I know she has not been to one so I would want her to be waited on hand and foot to give her a chance to actually relax. Since she does almost everything around the house, this would be a day where everyone is doing things for her.

If you could say something, anything to your mom when she’s stressed what would it be and why?
I would tell my mom that nothing lasts forever especially not the struggle or stress. This is encouraging to her coming from her daughter to know that things will eventually be okay.

Does your mom show you that self-care is important?
Yes she shows me that taking good care of myself physically and mentally is very important. She always tells me to never do drugs because one incident can cost me my life. She also always instills in me the importance of safe and healthy sexual relationships. 

What do you do to take care of yourself?
I always try to make sure I am not under too much stress. Stress can cause serious health issues so when I feel myself becoming too pressured, I take a break to calm myself down. 

What’s a motto you live by that would express self-care for you?
I must love and care for myself before I expect anyone else to do it. If I don’t take care of myself and love myself, no one else will ever do it for me one day so I must know how to do it on my own. 

Give me your definition of self-care.
Self-care is taking care of yourself in all ways possible. Taking care of your body and not putting any and everything in it, it’s taking care of yourself physically. Taking care of yourself mentally AND physically is making sure you get enough sleep to be sure your mind and body functions properly. 

Being Nanekia: Refreshed & Renewed

nik2This month I’ve been focusing a lot on self-care. It’s something I wouldn’t normally embrace as I live and breathe for my family (at least that’s what they like to think.)  I have noticed though that I do need to take better care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually.  These are all aspects of my life that when out of alignment cause me a great deal of hurt.  Why would I ever want to hurt myself when I could just make a plan to take better care of me?  So for this installment of Being Nanekia, taking care of me, in some way, shape or form.

This month has been an eye opening, game changing month for me. I could say I began to meditate and I cried a river of tears to cleanse my soul, I could say I worked out every day and ate well portioned meals, I could say I saved a bunch of money by switching my car insurance.  That sounds great, sounds like I did some self-caring, none of that happened.  Instead I choose to embrace God’s vision for my life and noted that I had lacked in really taking care of myself spiritually.  If you’ve read any other post this month you may note they are faith based.  This has been heavy on me so I just let it flow through and whatever developed did.  When it came to self-caring for my spiritual state I knew exactly what I had to do.  For so long I have had a vision of helping others, women in particular be the best them they can be and to enjoy every moment of this thing we call life.  It’s hard to focus on that vision when there are so many other things to focus on, but in March I’ve felt such a strong pull to plant seeds, reap what I’ve sown and focus on the vision God has given me.  Why hadn’t I done this before?  I have no clue, was I scared, maybe, was I lazy, I’m sure on some days, was I distracted, I’m always distracted.  So what made me stop now and decide to focus in on my vision, my calling, nothing but God.

See what I know for sure is that when God has called you to do something He will make sure you get it done. We may think that someone else can do it or someone else is doing it, but no one and I mean no one can do what God has called you to do as an individual.  We each have a purpose here, there’s a reason your journey is your journey and no one else can take that trip for you.  My journey started many years ago.  I’ve always had it in my mind to be helpful, but it took some lessons and growing to be able to speak life into others without giving too much of who I am and need to be for myself and family away.  The need to help people never went away, no matter how I tried to alter my journey it was always there.  I read and study a lot.  I’m always drawn to a particular scripture or book focusing on using your gifts and talents to help others, mine just always focused on helping other women.  So I’m going to nurture and develop this gift and use it as often as possible.  I’m going to focus on getting my spiritual self together so that I can help others without harming myself.  Please pray for me.

How are you self-caring? Is there an area you should focus on a little more?  Be sure to take care of yourself, you’re the only you we have.

Psalms 37

For this week’s hot tip I’m keeping it simple.  We’ve been given a great book for our lives to help guide us.  Allow this scripture to help you.

 
Psalm 37[a]
Of David.
1 Do not fret because of those who are evil
or be envious of those who do wrong;
2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.
3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the LORD
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.
9 For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.
11 But the meek will inherit the land
and enjoy peace and prosperity.
12 The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnash their teeth at them;
13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he knows their day is coming.
14 The wicked draw the sword
and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
to slay those whose ways are upright.
15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.
16 Better the little that the righteous have
than the wealth of many wicked;
17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous.
18 The blameless spend their days under the LORD’s care,
and their inheritance will endure forever.
19 In times of disaster they will not wither;
in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.
20 But the wicked will perish:
Though the LORD’s enemies are like the flowers of the field,
they will be consumed, they will go up in smoke.
21 The wicked borrow and do not repay,
but the righteous give generously;
22 those the LORD blesses will inherit the land,
but those he curses will be destroyed.
23 The LORD makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;
24 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.
25 I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be a blessing.[b]
27 Turn from evil and do good;
then you will dwell in the land forever.
28 For the LORD loves the just
and will not forsake his faithful ones.
Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed[c];
the offspring of the wicked will perish.
29 The righteous will inherit the land
and dwell in it forever.
30 The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom,
and their tongues speak what is just.
31 The law of their God is in their hearts;
their feet do not slip.
32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
intent on putting them to death;
33 but the LORD will not leave them in the power of the wicked
or let them be condemned when brought to trial.
34 Hope in the LORD
and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;
when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.
35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man
flourishing like a luxuriant native tree,
36 but he soon passed away and was no more;
though I looked for him, he could not be found.
37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
a future awaits those who seek peace.[d]
38 But all sinners will be destroyed;
there will be no future[e] for the wicked.
39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.
40 The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him

faith road sign

 

What Do You Believe?

This article features Morgan (14), we discuss how her faith has helped hermorgan.

 

 

Can you define what having faith means to you?

 
Faith to me means that you believe in someone or something else outside yourself.

 
What helped form your faith?

 
My God and family helped me form my faith.

 

 

Do you feel as though you can freely express your faith with friends? With family?

 
Yes, I believe I am confident in my faith and that people should know that and see that confidence.

 

When you are in a bad situation how has faith helped you?

 
My faith has helped me in a bad situation because I can sometimes be hard on myself, but I remember to stay faithful to what I believe and that helps me.

 
Do you believe that praying helps you in your everyday life?

 
Yes, because remembering God’s word helps me deal with tough situations and makes me stronger.

 
How would you explain your faith to someone your age questioning their faith?

 
I would tell them that God is on their side and tell them about a time that God was there for me and how having faith kept me strong and helped me be better.

 

How important do you believe having faith is in today’s society?

 
Having faith in today’s society is very important. I think people think they can wish for things and things come true for them, but that’s not how it works. God will work it out for you if you have faith and believe. Sometime what we want is not what we need.

 
Can you tell us of one time when you know your faith played a part in a situation you were involved in?

 
I struggled with test taking in school. If I studied I still had a problem, but my faith helped me to push through and to keep studying and to not give up.

 
Do you believe that a person that does not attend church on a regular basis can still have faith? Why or why not?

 
Yes, I believe that hey can still carry God in their heart so that no matter where they are, their faith in God can help them.

 

Tell us a bible verse that has helped you.

 
Zechariah 14:9 he Lord will be king over all the Earth. On that day there will be one Lord, and His name the only name.

 

Morgan (14) is a freshman and a phenomenal drummer. In her spare time when she’s not volunteering she creates her own beats.

 

Our Family, Our Faith

faith stairsSo recently in entertainment news I see that Katt Williams has decided to challenge Kevin Hart’s comedic skills. The kids and I viewed the videos online and I wanted to take the opportunity to use this as a lesson.  See, we’d just been talking about a statement we’d recently heard used “Favor isn’t fair!”  This statement bothered me.  Why isn’t favor fair and who the hell said it’s not?  Ill break it down for you like I did my crew.

I totally disagree with this statement. Take the issues going on with Katt Williams and Kevin Hart.  Why is Katt really mad, what did Kevin Hart do to him for him to wage war on him?  The answer…nothing at all, Katt to me has the belief that favor isn’t fair.  Is favor not fair because Kevin’s career is soaring in the lime light, that he has crossed color lines, and he is everywhere on the big screen.  You honestly can’t not see Kevin Hart working right now.  Where have you seen Katt?  Most recently being arrested, making these videos about Kevin Hart and re-runs of his past comedy shows. Not to knock Katt he is funny, but what’s not funny is him tearing down another man trying to take care of his family.  Maybe favor isn’t fair because Ice Cube has been working with Kevin Hart, maybe it’s not fair because Kevin Hart left a broken relationship and was able to find love again.  Is Katt jealous? Maybe.  One thing I do know for sure Favor is definitely fair.

You may wonder why I say that, we’ve witnessed Katt have setbacks and we are cheering for his comeback. Kevin appears to be winning which must mean he’s receiving favor.  I’m sure Kevin has God’s favor upon him, just like I’m sure despite Katt’s setbacks he has favor as well.  Why can one person’s favor appear visible and yet we witness another struggle, I’ll tell you the secret.  Favor is fair because what God has meant for me is for me and what God has for you is for you, just like what God has for Katt and Kevin are for each of them.  God’s favor is not based upon some earthly structure that man has made up.  If that was the case would you have all you have?  There is definitely a higher power working on behalf of all of us to ensure that what is for us is for us and no one can remove that from you.  If we all had the same testimony we would not be able to fully appreciate God in all His glory.  Don’t you enjoy seeing God’s grace upon others, when they can tell you their story and you see, hear, and feel their victory.  It’s so awesome.  Favor is as fair as it can be based upon the testimony to be produced by it.  Think about the story of Job, although he went through great hardship things that  were meant for him weren’t removed from him and given to someone else, when his favor returned it was even greater because his story was already written and God’s favor upon him was already noted.  Favor is fair.

faith not easySo what did I tell my crew? The same thing I would tell anyone.  Jealousy, which is what I believe Katt Williams’’ problem really is, will have you questioning God, tearing down your brother, and be an unfulfilling reminder of what you think you deserve but do not have.  How do you conquer jealousy?  You remember that God reminds us in His word that He has already overcome this world (John 16:33), we don’t have to worry about someone else receiving our reward.  God also tells us if we delight ourselves in Him, I take this as praising Him, having joy in your heart for Him, then He promises to give you and me the desires of our heart (Psalms 37:4).  What greater favor is that?!

How do you teach your children about your faith and what you want to instill in your family? I may be a little unconventional, but I believe they are getting the message.

Each One Teach One

As I mention in the Hot Mom, Hot Topics:  You Are the HOTTEST MOM post, Laniece recently graduated from college. In that spirit, if you are thinking about going back to school, here are a few sites that list the top colleges for people with children.  Investigate and let me know if you apply.  Each One Teach One!

The 20 Best Colleges for Single Parents: http://www.thebestcolleges.org/the-20-best-colleges-for-single-parents/

Best Colleges for student with Children: http://www.bestcolleges.com/features/students-with-children/

Child Friendly College Programs for Parents: http://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/articles/2011/03/23/child-friendly-college-programs-for-parents

Best Schools for Student Parents: http://study.com/articles/10_Best_Schools_for_Student_Parents.html

I would suggest comparing all listed and noting the ones repeated on each site. Don’t forget, if you decide to go back to school, complete your financial aid forms, https://fafsa.gov/

 

Why We Love Auntie Iggie?!

washington family

Here are few of the comments from Laniece’s  nieces and nephews:

I just love Auntie Iggie so much. ~ Anissa (3)

She is supportive and always there when you need her. ~ Caylin (13)

She takes great care of London and hustles hard. ~ Cashawn (16)

She is super cool and laid back. She takes good care of London. ~ Caleb (18)

Auntie Iggie is a good mom and aunt because in any situation she gets the job done. She is an ambitious hustler and will never give up.  There is only one Auntie Iggie and the family is lucky to have her. ~ Symone (18)

Laniece is a great aunt because she is very supportive and motivating. She truly cares about everyone and tries her best to be there for everyone she crosses paths with.  She motivates everyone to be a better person and to try to reach their dreams no matter the obstacles.  She is a very important person in my life and she is a great aunt. ~ Dasharee (21)

She helps everyone when they are in need. ~ Janayha (14)

She is always ready to give you a ride. ~ Jade (11)

She takes good care of my god brother. ~ Jayshawn (9)

She’s a Pisces like me why wouldn’t she be great. ~ Destini (15)

Auntie Iggie is a great aunt because she is always helping out. ~ Jamiel (12)

 

You Are the HOTTEST MOM!

auntie iggie 2Our hot mom for the month of March is supportive, courageous and got multiple nominations. Congratulations….Laniece Washington aka Auntie Iggie.   I asked Angela M., the first person to nominate Laniece, why Laniece should be considered the hottest mom, her response, “Iggie is giving, she’s my best friend, and she is beautiful on the inside as well as the outside.  She is the most giving person I know.  Her hard work and willingness to help others is amazing.”  This should have been one of the easiest post to write.  Everybody and I do mean everybody had something good to say about Auntie Iggie.  From how hard she hustles to take care of her son, to her recently graduating from college, to being a motivator for her family and friends, there were so many things to pick from to write about.  It was hard to pick the one thing that stood out about her.  I went back to my notes and re-read them, then like a Mike Tyson punch to the chin, it hit me.  The one that stood out to me the most was how supportive she is.  There wasn’t one conversation that was had or a statement that was written that did not include something about her being supportive.

I think we sometimes as moms or parents in general don’t realize how important support is. We go to games or award ceremonies or just spend time in the presence of those we love, without thinking about the impact this will have on those we came to see.  We do not (should not) go looking for recognition, but simply to let the person know we are there for them.  What an amazing feeling to look out into the crowd and not only see your parents but to see others from your family cheering you on.   Her nieces and nephews recalled times that she’d shown up for them.  They felt the love she has for them.  Standing a whole 4 feet 11 inches (I may be off a few inches, lol) they respect her when she has to discipline them for not doing what is right.  They admire how hard she works to support her son and they recognize that this is important to her, caring for someone else.  And even though she has London (4), her own child, she still manages to come through whenever they need her.  It was amazing to hear the love in their voices when they talked about her or when I read the text messages, I teared up.  She is truly loved and embraced.

So we SALUTE you Laniece Washington aka Auntie Iggie, YOU ARE THE HOTTEST MOM!!!!!