People always ask me how many children I have and how old are they. They are always shocked to find out the varying ages. My oldest is Symone (18), my only son Jamiel (12), and my little princess Anissa (3). I know there are some huge age gaps there. My only explanation for this, I was having so much fun with each of them when they decided to stop being bothered with me, I had another, lol. Just kidding, but not. I enjoyed all the years I was able to enjoy with each child in their first developmental stages that this did become for me and them their specific time to have mommy all to themselves. You may wonder how this is possible seeing at some point I had two then three children. I’ll let you in on a little secret….At some point in time in their growing up, your children will become tired of YOU, yes YOU! They won’t want to hang out with you, you are no longer fun, you are a bank machine, taxi driver, lawyer, note writing, maid, that is no longer fun for them. Just kidding, but you get my drift as they grow and develop other relationships you as their parent, despite giving birth to them and caring for them, move downward on their list of priorities. And that’s okay, we all have done it even if we don’t want to admit it. I always wanted five children, yes five, but my God in His infinite wisdom knew to give me the three. With these three and their spacing I was able to give each child time with me to just be that kid going through that stage at that time. (I salute you all with the stair step kids, I couldn’t do it). My dilemma now that they are all here and aging (I don’t age but they do), how can we spend quality time as a family when we all have varying interest? I’ll tell you….
Symone (18), my first, had interest in so many things. Whatever she wanted to try we did. From dance, saxophone, softball, singing, dancing, and cooking to name a few. I was always busy with her and thus felt I did not have time for any more children. I enjoyed each and every moment I was able to run around, participate, wear ear plugs, and laugh because it was just the two of us. As she grew older and developed friendships she began to do these interests with others. I was invited along but just as a chaperone. It was at this time I was shocked by my doctor who informed me after my appointment that I may want to pull over to the side of the road. Scared and automatically going to negative thoughts I was informed I was expecting. Just when I thought life was about to get boring, enters Jamiel (12). I wasted no time telling Symone about her baby brother, to which she had a total meltdown. What a diva!
Jamiel came on the scene and I was ecstatic, A SON! We had so much fun together and from the time he could open the door for me he would, always such a gentlemen. Jamiel’s passions included star gazing, football, soccer, dance, music (he loves all genres, as well as Symone) and cooking. I loved seeing things through the male prospective and in time Symone and Jamiel developed a bond of love like no other. Our quality time consisted of a lot of competitions. We would play the Wii games for who would have to do what chores, we would race to clean up the yard, our mall runs would be scavenger hunts, and meal time since they both liked to cook was an Olympic sport in which I was the judge. Now let’s move on down the road to many, many years later, SURPRISE, there’s another joining the crew. Welcome to the stage Anissa. I have to say this announcement with two children under my belt went quite differently, we were all excited to welcome our final team member. (yes, I’m done!)
Anissa is a spitfire. She keeps us all on her toes. Being the youngest of the crew we are still developing her interest. So far we love dance, music (all the children love dance and music), taking care of other little ones, shopping, pampering ourselves, and ordering others around. If you can’t tell, each child reflects a specific time in my life, this little one came at a time when I was loving all over me. So why do you need to know how I spent quality time with each, so you’ll have an understanding of how we mesh now.
It’s hard to find things that we all want to do, when we are all doing life at different pinnacles. I’ve found somethings that works for each of us. 1. Dinner, we cross paths at some point to eat. Eating allows us to be in each other’s presence and have a conversation about whatever. We laugh a lot! 2. Prayer- each morning before they leave my presence, I pray with my children. We actually take turns and Anissa has begun to repeat the prayers of her older siblings. 3. We dance. Check above there’s rhythm and soul among my children. Catch us Saturday /Sunday mornings with the radio turned up and us hittin some dance. We also car dance, a lot, catch our snapchats. 4. Every day we tell each other we love each other. If we never venture out to a mall or movie or dinner again with each other, we know it’s not because we don’t love each other. I see love in each of them and it’s amazing to catch them looking at each other with love. 5. We actually do enjoy shopping together (I just re-discovered shopping on my own), but I also love hanging with the crew. Grocery shopping, picking out outfits for each other (that we don’t buy, as we have very different tastes), shopping for décor, and shopping for special occasions, it’s fun. What I’m trying to say is that you have to find what works best for you and your crew. You don’t have to spend a lot of money or time doing it. It’s the quality of the effort to make it happen that matters most.
So what do you all do to spend time together, we’d love some new ventures to take on?