Hot Mom, Hot Topics: 20 Things Singles Don’t Want to Hear on Valentine’s Day & The Response You May Receive

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  1. You’ll find someone someday.
    (response: Don’t you think I already know that!)
  2. Mr./Mrs. Right is being prepped for you.
    (response: Well make sure they’re well done this time)
  3. I’ve got just the right person for you, my niece/nephew is single too.
    (response: Does my shirt say desperately seeking?!)
  4. When are you getting married?
    (response: If I knew that, I would have sent out “Save the dates” by now to avoid you asking this question, again!)
  5. Whatever happened to so and so?
    (response: If you don’t see them around then apparently we ain’t together!)
  6. You’re not getting any younger!
    (response:**ding, ding** You are correct! I don’t suffer from that Benjamin Button disease)
  7. You can always get a pet.
    (response: Well just go ahead put me in the housecoat, slippers, cigarettes, bonnet and deem me that cat lady)
  8. I pray you find someone soon.
    (response: While you’re praying, please ask for deliverance from put foot in mouth disease!)
  9. Have you tried online dating?
    (response: No, but thanks grandma for creating that profile and stressing that I am in desperate need!)
  10. Maybe you should fix yourself up.
    (response: So, you think I’m trying to fix myself down?!)
  11. You’ll find someone when you least expect it.
    (response: Well hopefully I’m fixed up by then! (reference #10))
  12. Your standards are too high.
    (response: So you’re saying I should take practices personal hygiene off the table?!)
  13. Hopefully we’ll be planning your wedding soon.
    (response: And your funeral next!)
  14. As a virgo you should really be looking for a cancer as a match?
    (response: And in what bible did you find this compatibility chart?!)
  15. There’s someone out there for everyone.
    (response: Apparently so, someone found you.)
  16. If all else fails, at least you have family.
    (response: Well, damn that is a depressing thought!)
  17. What happened to (insert ex’s name here), I mean he/she left you in debt but he/she had some pretty teeth?
    (response: Well there you have it, hopefully great dental hygiene will pay our mortgage someday.)
  18. Remember when you were 10 years old and you and (insert childhood friend’s name here) said you were going to get married, what happened?
    (response: We did this thing called “GROW UP”)
  19. Back in high school everybody thought you would be the first to get married. (response: Back in high school I had no standards!)
  20. You just need to put yourself out there.
    (response: So, mom, you hanging that desperately seeking a date for my son/daughter sign ain’t getting the response you expected, huh?!)

    Just kidding! It’s all in fun and sarcasm.  Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

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